/* CookQuot.js - G McMurdo, 22 Mar 01, last-edit 22 Mar 01, to randomly choose from & display one of a number of 'fortune cookie' quotes */ /* Unfortunately JavaScript has no 'continuation-character' (tricky within data anyway) and some lines just cannot be 'broken' with s to look nice onscreen. So each quote must be on its *own* line. This *may* enforce a 255 character limit, depending on your environment. Note that if you find any " within quotes you want to use, you should replace them with single ' s instead ... */ CookieQs = new Array( "God is not dead. He is alive and working working on a less ambitious project. - Anonymous, 1975", "What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error. - Raymond Aron, 'The Opium of the Intellectuals', 1957", "The future is like heaven - everyone exalts it, but no one wants to go there now. - James Baldwin, 'Nobody Knows My Name', 1961", "Now comes the mystery. - Henry Ward Beecher, last words, 8 March 1887", "Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Hector Berlioz, 'Almanach des lettres francaises'", "Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy. - Ambrose Bierce, 'The Devil's Dictionary'", "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. - Derek Bok, 1978", "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. - Ashleigh Brilliant", "Please don't ask me what the score is, I'm not even sure what the game is. - Ashleigh Brilliant", "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant", "Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive. - William F. Buckley", "Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well. - Samuel Butler, 'Notebooks' 1912", "What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story. And the greatest good is little enough: for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams. - Pedro Calderon de la Barca, 'Life is a Dream'", "It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies. - Arthur Calwell, 1968", "An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought. - Simon Cameron", "Every revolutionary ends up either by becoming an oppressor or a heretic. - Albert Camus, 'The Rebel', 1951", "When I sell liquor, its called bootlegging; when my patrons serve it on Lake Shore Drive, its called hospitality. - Al Capone", "You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. - Al Capone", "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. - Mark Twain", "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. - Mark Twain, 'Pudd'nhead Wilson', 1894", "Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. - Mark Twain, 'Following the Equator', 1897", "Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work. - Mark Twain, Correspondence, 1908" ); /* When editing in new cookie-quotes, remember that your final array element *DOES* *NOT* get a trailing comma , /* Choose one of the CookieQ array, using its '.length' property to save us keeping a count of our cookies as we add new ones! */ chCookQ = Math.round(Math.random() * (CookieQs.length -1)); // Now write the Cookie-quote document.write( CookieQs[chCookQ] ); // end