THE CHURCH OF THE KEEPING UP

Men's Business Meeting
Place: At the Church after Sunday Evening Church
Characters:
Bros. Eldership
Bro. Professional Pulpit Minister
Various mere men members
 

The meeting is opened (as usual) by Bro. Eldership #1:
"Brethren, we want to welcome you all to this special Business Meeting. If our Church is going to grow and be recognized we simply must advertise ourselves to the community."

Bro. Eldership #3,
"I'm sure we all agree with you here, Bro. Eldership #1."

Bro. Eldership #2,
"Yes, lets get ideas from all and then when we have our Staff Business Meeting we will have something to work from."

Bro. Eldership #1,
"We must look at all avenues for improvement, don't you see. For instance, Bro. Professional Pulpit, members of the community are always impressed with the preacher so lets consider ways you might be out front in the community.

Bro. PPM,
"Yes, it is important how the preacher is conceived, because after all, the sermon is the highlight of the service. The more I can draw into this fine Church, the thicker the Money Tree will grow."

Bro. Concern,
"Excuse me, but aren't we taught to go OUT and teach Christ, instead of drawing the alien sinners to us?"

Bro. Eldership #1,
"Hold on, Bro. Concern. You will understand our proposed method presently."

Bro. Eldership #2 to Bro. Eldership #3 in a whisper,
"I knew Bro. Concern would object. He is sooooo negative."

Bro. Eldership #1 continues,
"Bro. PPM, we want to place a weekly ad in the two local papers and of course, your picture with you title will be in the ad....along with a drawing of our new proposed building."

Bro. Status-Seeker,
"A new Building? We are going to have a new building? Well, it is about time. I am embarrassed every time someone asks me where I go to Church, and I have to tell them."

Bro. Cautious,
"But brethren, our building is quite adequate, and we have more room than we need, don't you think?"

Bro. Eldership #1,
"Bro. Cautious, our building has served us well, but times are changing, and people are not as willing to come to our Church when the Baptist Church down the street built that fine building with all the recreational facilities. Now, If we plan to compete with them for the people in the community we simply must keep up, don't you see?"

Bro. Eldership #2,
"Bro. Eldership #1, we are blessed that you were able to attend the Progressive Workshop and bring us so many excellent ideas on building up our Church. Let us discuss just what we will need in our new building."

Bro. Eldership #3,
"I have been thinking about that, and after visiting other Churches and looking over their fine facilities, I have a few idea for consideration. First, we must meet the needs of the community. We must become a Service Organization for them."

Bro. Eldership #4,
"Yes, indeedy! You are right. Lets think in terms of family recreation. A place where the whole family can come for entertainment. I imagine a Sports Arena for folks of all ages. Sports are of great importance in our community. Then there is Childcare so the family can enjoy their freedom from the care of their little children for awhile."

Bro. Status-Seeker,
"Oh, I can just see it now. I will be be so proud to invite my friends to such a place."

Bro. Concern,
"But.....

Bro. Eldership #1, continues.
"There is one more thing concerning our fine new building plans. We simply must have a beautiful steeple so the community will know this is a Place of Worship."

Bro. Concern,
"But......

Bro. Eldership #2,
"Shall we end the meeting, brethren? We will report back to you the decisions we make in our next Staff Business Meeting concerning these matters. All in favor of adjourning this meeting say."

"AMEN".

All say AMEN....well, most all.